First Week at Wonderful Years

By Mimi Say

First week of schooling spells TRAUMA for preschooler. Children have landed in an'alien' environment with strangers speaking a language alien to them. The biggest challenge to them and to us, is being separated from their closest person to them: their MOTHER!

Their separation anxiety causes STRESS to parents and teachers. One mum called me 6 times to check on her 3-year-old daughter who has never been separated from her. One 4-year-old just refuses to enter his class and only wants to be with me in my office. He follows me where ever I go. One needs her 'blankie' while missing her mum who needs to attend to others' children (her mum is a primary school teacher). One 3-year-old will scream the loudest of his voice for his aunt/grandma.

All in all, with patience, reassurance and love, almost all of them start to settle down and begin immersing themselves in the new environment. One still needs his maid/mum to accompany him, but he starts playing with his friends.

Children who are brought up with lots of love and secured environment are able to settle down faster. Even if they are not able to, talking with them helps a lot. One communicates her fears with her mum. Her mum can see that her 4-year-old tries to reassure herself and tries hard to adjust herself at preschool. With the communication channel open, she is able to stay in her class without her parents.

My advice to new parents:
1) Prepare your children ahead before enrolling them. Visit the new venue. Talk to the headmistress or teacher on your children's temperamental so that teachers can understand you children better.
2) Allow your children to play in the new environment.
3) Tell your children you will always pick them up after school.
4) Always give them choices that will eventually lead to a 'Yes' answer. Eg. "You'll be going to your kindergarten. Do you want me to feed you or feed yourself?" "Do you want to walk in yourself or your teacher to accompany you?" But if you ask, "Do you want to go to your kindy?" you will know what answer you children will give to you!
5) Getting angry when they are crying makes the tensed situation more worse.
6) Children can sense your anxiety. Do not transfer to them. Feel confident yourself that your children will do well in the kindergarten, and your children will perform well.
7) Make the separation quick. Give them a strong hug, a hard kiss and leave while reassuring you will be back form them.
8) Answer your children's repetitive question patiently. "Do I need to go to school tomorrow?" Always return their questions with reassurance and a hug.

This is what we get after the first TRAUMATIC week.