Aggression: Why and What to do About it? by Bonnie Monte

Why preschoolers get aggressive

There you are, watching your little angel through the window at preschool, thinking how blessed you are to have her. All of a sudden, she draws back her little hand — and whacks another child squarely on the nose.

•  a simple case of fear: Your child might lash out if she feels cornered by another youngster
• frustrated with everything she's trying to accomplish and end up pouncing on a playmate. 
• insecurity: she's also getting used to being away from home. 
• If she feels resentful or neglected on top of everything else, she might just retaliate by shoving the kid who won't get out of her face. 
• tired and hungry. She doesn't quite know what to do about it, so she responds by biting, hitting, or throwing a tantrum.

What you can do about aggression

Respond quickly. 

• Try to respond immediately when you see your preschooler getting aggressive. It's best to let her know instantly when she's done something wrong. 
• Remove her from the situation for a brief time-out — for a preschooler, three or four minutes is plenty. The idea is for her to connect her behavior with the consequence and figure out that if she hits or bites, she'll miss out on the fun. 
• No matter how angry you are with her, try not to yell, hit, or tell your preschooler she's bad. 
•  Set a good example by controlling your temper and calmly pulling her out of the action.

Stick to the plan.  

• respond to aggressive acts the same way every time.  Eventually it'll sink in that if she misbehaves, she gets booted out of the fun — the first step in controlling her own behavior. Even if she does something to mortify you in public, stick to the game plan.

Talk it out. 

• Let your preschooler cool down, then calmly discuss what happened. The best time to do this is after she's settled down but before she forgets the whole thing — ideally, 30 minutes to an hour later. 
• Explain that it's perfectly natural to get angry sometimes, but it's not okay to shove, hit, kick, or bite. 
• Suggest better ways of showing how mad she is: by kicking a ball, pounding her fist into a pillow, finding an adult to mediate the dispute, or simply voicing her feelings: "Tina, I feel really mad because you took the purple crayon."
• Teach her to walk away from infuriating situations and people until she can think of a better way to respond than letting her fists fly. You can help your youngster deal with her anger by reading books together on the topic. Try Mr. Rogers'sLet's Talk About Feeling Angry, Aliki's Feelings, or Jane Martin's Now Everybody Really Hates Me.

Reinforce responsibility. 

• If your preschooler's aggression damages someone's property or makes a mess, she should help make it right again. She can glue a broken toy back together, for instance, or clean up the crackers or blocks she hurled in anger. 
• She needs to say "I'm sorry" when she oversteps her bounds — even if you have to lead her by the hand to the offended party and say it for her. Her apologies might seem insincere at first, but the lesson will eventually sink in.

Reward good behavior. 

• always reward your preschooler when she behaves well  — when she asks for a turn at the computer game instead of snatching the mouse away, for instance, or gives up her swing to another child who's been waiting. Tell her how proud of her you are. Keep a special calendar on the refrigerator or on her bedroom bulletin board, and reward her with a colourful sticker when she manages to keep her temper in check.

Limit TV time. 

• Innocent-looking cartoons are often rife with shouting, threats, shoving, and hitting. So try to monitor the programmes your preschooler sees by watching with her. If something happens on a show that you don't approve of, talk to her about it: "Did you see how that girl pushed her friend to get what she wanted? That wasn't a very good thing to do, was it?" (The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that kids this age see no more than an hour or two of "quality" television a day)

Some kids have more trouble with aggression than others do.  Try to get to the root of the problem and decide if a child psychologist or psychiatrist is needed. Sometimes an undiagnosed learning or behavior disorder is behind the frustration and anger; sometimes the problem is related to family or emotional difficulties. Whatever its source, a counselor can help your youngster work through the emotions that tend to lead to aggression, and learn to control them in the future. More than likely, professional help won't be necessary — but if your preschooler does need some counseling, it'll be a relief to know that you don't have to deal with the problem on your own.

Making Homework Work By Raising Children Network

What is Homework?

Homework can take many forms: worksheet or project, to do some reading or writing, or to collect interesting objects to share with the class.

Homework helps your child to:

• practise the skills learned in class
• get ready for the next day’s work
• learn time management and organisational skills, such as working to a deadline and finding a balance between work and play.

Homework has benefits for parents, too – it gives you the chance to see what your child is learning about at school.

In the early school years, the main goals of homework might be to help children learn time management and organisational skills, and to involve parents in their child’s education. Later, homework has clear academic benefits – research has shown a clear link between homework and achievement, particularly in secondary school.

Making homework work

Find the right time
For some children, the best time to get homework done will be straight after school. Others might need a break to play and unwind first. No matter what, the optimal time is when you can be around to supervise and give your child a helping hand if needed.

Most children can only concentrate for about 15 minutes at a time before they might need a brief break. Get your child to do some neck stretches, arm shakes and finger wriggles. A favourite activity, like watching TV or playing outside, might be a reward for when the homework has been finished.

Create the right environment
It’s a good idea to set up your child somewhere that has good light, air and enough space for her to spread out with her books, pens and other resources.

Try to minimise distractions by turning off the TV and asking siblings to stay away. No mobile phone around. If he’s using a computer that’s connected to the internet, you might want to keep it in a shared family area so you can keep an eye on the sites he’s visiting.

Help your child get organised
You can show your child how to break down big assignments or projects into smaller, more manageable tasks. 

Help your child develop a positive approach
Schoolwork isn’t always easy. Your job is to help your child develop a positive approach to academic and organisational challenges.

Get him to do ‘easier’ tasks first to build his confidence, then guide him through the more difficult tasks.

If your child’s struggling with a particular assignment, you could help her approach the problem positively by getting her to pinpoint what she’s finding difficult. From there, you can brainstorm some solutions together, weighing up the pros and cons of the different options to find the best one. You can also help your child identify people or resources that could help her further.

Be a coach
It can help to think of yourself as your child’s coach. You can support your child by creating the right time, environment and approach for homework, but doing the work is ultimately your child’s responsibility.

Being the coach might mean you have to let your child ‘fail’ sometimes – but remember that children learn from failure as well as success. What really counts is the attitude you both have to these failures.

Activities for Parents and Preschooler at Home

What kinds of activities can parents do at home to help their preschooler be successful in preschool? by DEBORAH J. STEWART, M.ED
Here are a few simple ideas…


* Promote independence by helping your preschooler develop skills such as    dressing himself, washing hands, going potty, putting on coats, and feeding himself.


* Build communication skills by talking with your preschooler often and encouraging your preschooler to ask questions or express his views on topics.


* Promote an interest in literacy by reading with your preschooler- read simple books, signs in the grocery store, the back of a cereal box, street signs, and so on.


* Promote social skills by inviting friends over so your preschooler will develop their ability to share, work out conflicts, and play positively with his or her peers.


* Promote decision making skills by letting your child choose from a menu at a restaurant.


* Promote problem solving skills by letting your child figure out how to open a container or how to do other things without your help.


* Promote organizational skills by letting your child put away his own toys.

Parenting

The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day.

- M. Grundler

Managing Preschool Separation Anxiety by By Amanda Rock

It really do get into parents seeing their young ones putting up a fit, screaming on top of their lungs, clinging ever so tightly to your blouse, begging you to take them home or crying, "Mummy! Mummy!..."  

Welcome to the world of preschoolers' separation anxiety attack. Face it head on but with much love and patience, your child will eventually fit in and walks happily to the daycare centre.

Time Required: As long as it takes

Here's How:

1. Say goodbye.  Give your child a hug and a kiss, tell her you'll be back soon and then walk out the door. Don't delay, don't give her "one more minute," don't linger, hoping that she'll miraculously start smiling and laughing, happy to go and play with her preschool chums. You've brought her to preschool and now it's time to let her get to the business of being a preschooler.
2. Trust your child's teacher. Preschool teachers, even newly-minted ones, know kids. They've done this before and have many ways and methods in their bag of tricks to help calm your little one down. From redirecting to a new activity to simply giving your child a hug and offering comfort, preschool teachers are masters at knowing what works and what doesn't when it comes to making kids happy. You chose this preschool for a reason, let the staff prove that your instincts and research was well-founded.
3. Establish a good-bye routine. Preschoolers crave routine. So come up with a couple of things that you do each time you say goodbye. Maybe it's a secret handshake or a special high-five. Maybe you kiss her chin or tweak her nose. Whatever it is,  make sure you do it every single time.
4. Confront the problem head-on. Bribing your child to stay in school may work -- temporarily. Sneaking out might make you feel better. But the best way to cope with preschool separation anxiety is to just deal with it. The reality is, that within minutes of their parents' exit, most kids happily settle down. And within days (sometimes weeks), the tearful goodbyes end. 
5. Try a change. Kids often behave better for people other than their parents. If there's a relative, friend or neighbor that's game, let them handle the dropping off for a few days and see if there is a change in your child's behavior.
6. Enlist the help of home. Its important to let  child know  that you love them very much and that you are thinking of them often. Together, pick out something that your child can bring to school with them that reminds them of home -- a small stuffed animal, a photo, even a smiley face drawn on their hand. 
7. Never let them see you sweat. Don't let your child see that their preschool separation anxiety is getting to you.  Smile, talk about how much fun she's gong to have and then once you are out the door, call a friend to vent and cry.
8. Don't be late for pick up.  No matter who is picking your child up, whether it is you or someone else, make sure you are there on time -- early even. If you are late, it can cause your child even more anxiety and make dropping her off the next time that much harder.
9. Get the teacher involved. Talk to your child's teacher.Make an appointment when you can talk to her, if possible without your child present. 
10. Be prepared for regression. Just when you think you finally have preschool separation anxiety under control, along comes a school vacation or an illness that keeps your child home for a few days and -- tah-dah! -- it's back again. This is perfectly normal. While upsetting, it's likely just to last a day or two and your child should go back to his cheerful self at drop-off time quickly.
11. Give your child something to look forward to. Most grown-ups aren't thrilled with the idea of being left in a roomful of people they don't know. If it's possible, put some friendly faces in the crowd by scheduling playdates with some of your child's classmates. If your child arrives at preschool and sees someone they recognize, they may be more likely to settle down and relax.
12. Be honest. Talk to your child about what they are feeling and why. Ask them what makes them so upset about you dropping them off at preschool. Share a story about a time that you may have felt scared or nervous about something and how you dealt with it. Talk about why you want your child to go to preschool and how much fun they are going to have while they were there. Don't minimize their fears or concerns -- address them while assuring them that you will always be there to pick them up once school is over for the day.
13. Help your child do his homework. Before preschool even starts, talk to your child about the whole process, preparing her for what she can expect to happen. Do site visits, go on bus rides and even read a few books about what preschool will be like and what she will do there. Knowledge is power and the more information your child has, the more empowered she's likely to feel.

Tips:

1. Don't drag out saying goodbye and don't sneak out either. Keep it simple -- one kiss, one hug and out the door you head. And never bring your child home with you.
2. Keep your own emotions in check. Kids are surprisingly adept at picking up on what we grown-ups are feeling, even if we are trying to hide it.
3. Discuss what is going on with your child's teacher, but not during drop-off or pick-up time. Make an appointment to discuss the matter privately.
4. See if you can get another relative or friend to bring your child to school to see if a change in routine makes a difference.
5. Be prepared for your child to regress a bit after vacations, after he's been out sick or if something eventful is going on at home, like the birth of a sibling.

What You Need

• A small reminder of home, like a photo or stuffed animal
• Patience
• A strong support system in place -- teachers, friends, etc.
• A goodbye routine that you follow each time

GIVING BACK TO SOCIETY

SOWING THE SEED FROM YOUNG

Children are brought up in a material world hence they do caught up and began to demand more from parents. Holistic education encompasses emotional and moral values. To cultivate these intrinsic values we brought our young ones to visit those less fortunate ones abandoned by their parents. We hope the seed of the moral values above will bloom into their hearts in future.

Tips for Smart Snacking

So how do you turn preschoolers into smart snackers? 

• Keep healthy snacks in your refrigerator or pantry. Let kids choose their own snacks from among a couple of nutritious options. 
• Offer a variety of snacks, not just the ones kids already likes. Offer new choices, but don't give up on foods that may have been rejected in the past. It may take several tries before a child accepts a new food. 
• Have a schedule for meals and snacks. This lets kids manage their hunger and learn that it's OK to skip a meal or snack because there will be another chance to eat at the next scheduled time. 
• Don't let kids eat in front of the TV. Serve snacks and meals at the table. 
• Keep mostly healthy foods in the house, with those high in calories, fat, and added sugar kept to a minimum. This doesn't mean kids can never have these foods, but they should be offered only once in a while. 
• Serve skim or low-fat milk or water with snacks instead of sugary drinks and soda. Limit 100% juice to one serving per day. 
• Make your preschooler a part of the action! Kids this age feel important when adults let them help out. Let them do what they safely can to prepare their own snacks — whether that's tossing the fruit salad or putting utensils and napkins on the table. 
• Keep an eye on how your child's moods affect eating patterns. Preschoolers often confuse boredom or fatigue with hunger. If your child just ate and is complaining of hunger again, see if a change of scenery or some active play could do the trick. 
• Share a healthy snack with your kids, who will follow your lead and get the message that you're serving something good.
• http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_center/healthy_eating/preschool_snacks.html?tracking=P_RelatedArticle