First Week at Wonderful Years

By Mimi Say

First week of schooling spells TRAUMA for preschooler. Children have landed in an'alien' environment with strangers speaking a language alien to them. The biggest challenge to them and to us, is being separated from their closest person to them: their MOTHER!

Their separation anxiety causes STRESS to parents and teachers. One mum called me 6 times to check on her 3-year-old daughter who has never been separated from her. One 4-year-old just refuses to enter his class and only wants to be with me in my office. He follows me where ever I go. One needs her 'blankie' while missing her mum who needs to attend to others' children (her mum is a primary school teacher). One 3-year-old will scream the loudest of his voice for his aunt/grandma.

All in all, with patience, reassurance and love, almost all of them start to settle down and begin immersing themselves in the new environment. One still needs his maid/mum to accompany him, but he starts playing with his friends.

Children who are brought up with lots of love and secured environment are able to settle down faster. Even if they are not able to, talking with them helps a lot. One communicates her fears with her mum. Her mum can see that her 4-year-old tries to reassure herself and tries hard to adjust herself at preschool. With the communication channel open, she is able to stay in her class without her parents.

My advice to new parents:
1) Prepare your children ahead before enrolling them. Visit the new venue. Talk to the headmistress or teacher on your children's temperamental so that teachers can understand you children better.
2) Allow your children to play in the new environment.
3) Tell your children you will always pick them up after school.
4) Always give them choices that will eventually lead to a 'Yes' answer. Eg. "You'll be going to your kindergarten. Do you want me to feed you or feed yourself?" "Do you want to walk in yourself or your teacher to accompany you?" But if you ask, "Do you want to go to your kindy?" you will know what answer you children will give to you!
5) Getting angry when they are crying makes the tensed situation more worse.
6) Children can sense your anxiety. Do not transfer to them. Feel confident yourself that your children will do well in the kindergarten, and your children will perform well.
7) Make the separation quick. Give them a strong hug, a hard kiss and leave while reassuring you will be back form them.
8) Answer your children's repetitive question patiently. "Do I need to go to school tomorrow?" Always return their questions with reassurance and a hug.

This is what we get after the first TRAUMATIC week.

Easing Prescholers' Separation Anxiety and Regressive Behavior.

A Smooth Start

When your child starts preschool, she may experience separation anxiety and regressive behavior. Child psychiatrist Joshua Sparrow explains what you can expect.

By Gail O'Connor

Joshua Sparrow is the co-author, with T. Berry Brazelton, ofTouchpoints 3 to 6.

The transition to preschool is often marked with two steps forward, one step back, as your child grows and learns in amazing ways — but at the same time, regresses in some behaviors, too. Child psychiatrist Joshua Sparrow, M.D., is an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School professor and co-author, with T. Berry Brazelton, of Touchpoints 3 to 6. He's also a former preschool teacher and gives this advice about how to ease your child's transition.

Starting preschool is a big step for many young children. What are some of the biggest challenges they face?
The most common challenge for most kids is saying goodbye to their parents, or trouble separating. For some children this may be their first time out of the home. Others may have separated before, but are now in a new, possibly more demanding situation (if they have to share the adult caregiver with a number of other children).

How can parents help soothe their children's separation anxiety?
First, they can look within for whatever ambivalence they have about leaving their child, because he will pick up on those feelings. If there's any hesitation or discomfort or doubt — which there often is; you hate to leave your child when he's unhappy about it — but if you don't feel good about where you're leaving him, or about the fact that you have to leave him, your child's going to feel, "Well, maybe this isn't really a good place or idea." The first thing you have to do to prepare your child is to prepare yourself.

How else can parents help ease the transition for their preschooler?
There are a number of things you can do to prepare your child. Prior to starting school, take your child to visit the classroom and meet the teacher. If there's a way of having a playdate with one of the other children who will be attending the preschool, that's great, because then the children can welcome each other when they begin school. You could give your child a transitional object, like a favorite blanket or teddy bear they can carry around with them all day; or even a story so the teacher can read it. And give your child lots of reassurance that "Mommy's coming back," or "Daddy's coming back."

To reinforce the idea, you can play a little game in which something disappears from sight but your child rediscovers it. Roll a ball under the couch and say, "Look, we can't see it. Do you think it's still there? Let's go look." When your child finds the ball, you can say, "See, even though we couldn't see the ball it's still there, just like Mommy when she went to work." What you're doing is reinforcing "object permanence," a concept that comes earlier (by the end of the first year) but can be threatened by the emotional challenge that separation presents.

What are some of the ways preschool helps a child grow?
For some children this may be the first time they're going into a group setting where the attention by caregivers will be divided among several children. Learning to share the relationship to the teacher will be a major new gain. Also, the child will be learning to make friends, share, take turns, and hold back on impulses, areas in which they're still making progress. Preschool will present them with more opportunities to practice these skills. They'll also have opportunities to learn about other children's feelings, and to discover the joy of being generous. It's very early, but you'll see examples where the child will say, "Do you want to play with this doll?" That's their little gift, and they're learning the internal pleasure they get out of that.

Also, at this age kids love the daily routine of preschool. They get excited about mastering the schedule — they know when storytime and snack and lunch and nap happen — and they're really thrilled with themselves. Their fantasy play becomes stronger around this age, and there are ways of being more elaborate with their imagination when other children are around. They also benefit from their peers in terms of language acquisition, and even motor development. You may start to see them climb up on a slide more readily, for instance.

When children are learning so many new things in preschool, is it likely they may regress in some other areas?
In general, whenever a child is challenged by a new developmental area, she's likely to temporarily lose ground in an area she's only recently mastered. So at age three, it might be bedwetting, because she may just have learned to stay dry through the night. It's very likely there could be more crying, more clinging, more wanting to stick close to parents, and maybe some baby talk. There could be trouble separating at bedtime, and with getting to sleep. One of the things kids are working on at that age is learning to control their feelings, which in a way, we work on our whole lives. You can expect more crying, more temper tantrums, more irritability, and more impulsiveness.

How do you know whether regression is a sign of something other than a touchpoint, in this case the transition to preschool? When do these behaviors signal something more serious?
Certainly the regression should not last more than a couple of weeks, at the most. And it shouldn't be pervasive throughout the day, for days and days. So although new preschoolers may be talking some baby talk, or they may wet the bed or have more trouble separating to go to sleep, you shouldn't see less of other normal functioning at other times of the day. And they shouldn't lose interest in playing, for example, or having playdates with other kids.

How can parents assess whether the preschool they've chosen is working for their child?
The first thing is to gauge whether the teachers understand that they're not just there to support the child, but also the parent. Do they let parents stay in the classroom for the first several days, to help the child make the adjustment? How forthcoming are they about reporting both the ups and downs of the day? Again, you would expect a child to resist going for the first several days, maybe for the first week or two. And you might also expect him to have a temper tantrum at the end of the day when he sees you. But what's really helpful is to sneak in and spot your child before she spots you. See what she's doing. If she's on the teacher's lap reading a story, or conversing and playing interactively with another child, or busily playing with something side by side with a child who's playing with something else — those are all good signs. If she is wandering around aimlessly or sitting in a corner looking sad and not being attended to, those are obviously not good signs.

Some children have emotional outbursts when their parents pick them up from preschool. Are these a cause for concern?
When your child has a temper tantrum, that does not mean that he is not doing well. It tells you that he really missed you and can finally let go and be flooded by the feelings he was trying to fight back all day long. The fact that he misses you doesn't mean preschool is not going to work for him. You can reassure your child and say, "I missed you too, and I'm eager to see you because we love each other and we have fun together."

Once regressive behaviors — like trouble separating — subside and the child appears to have successfully made the transition to preschool, can parents expect those behaviors to occasionally return?
Yes. For example, if you go away on a vacation or the preschool closes for a break, your child may experience another, shorter adjustment period. If a teacher or someone the child is close to leaves the school, you may see these behaviors again. Then there are other things of course that can cause these regressive behaviors, like developmental touchpoints, or the birth of a new sibling, or a stressful time in the parent's life. When you think about it, we all regress throughout our entire lives, whenever we do something new and challenging like move, or switch jobs, or get married. There will be things the child is working on, too.

Why Children with Hobbies Grow into Successful Adults

Hobbies Offer a Head Start!

Dan Reveal, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Apr 29, 2011 

Hobbies can be a wonderful pastime that keep children entertained for hours and hours. As long as they can drag out the box of Legos from under the bed, for example, children never have to worry about being bored.

But do hobbies only benefit people when they are children? On the contrary, there are many reasons to believe that children with hobbies grow into successful adults.

Hobbies Turn into Careers

Undoubtedly, those famous cartoon artists who've found successful adult careers started out drawing as a hobby. They are among the most fortunate and successful adults because the hobby that made them happy anyway is now earning them money.

Hobbies Allow for a Creative Outlet

Even for adults with less exciting jobs, the hobbies they had as children still come into play in making them successful.

This is because an ongoing hobby can serve as a happy distraction from a monotonous job. Because childhood hobbies allow for a creative outlet, adults can complete jobs in successful ways regardless of how routine and humdrum they might be.

Hobbies Enhance Job Interviews

Successful adulthood involves getting a good job and childhood hobbies can be a big part of this. Although childhood hobbies aren't mentioned on a resume, they still enhance an applicant's self-esteem and the good impression they are likely to make.

Sitting there during the interview, the applicant can feel the presence of the hobby. "I'm the best electric train operator in town."

Hobbies Encourage Independent Learning

Children with hobbies grow into successful adults because a child's hobby teaches them to pursue knowledge independently of adult supervision.

If the child collects stamps, for example, they will want to become an expert by reading things about stamps on their own.

Hobbies Promote the Organization of Time

People who are successful adults need to be able to organize their time wisely. This skill can be taught by childhood hobbies. Think of the child who first has to do homework before focusing on their hobby.

A successful life becomes structured around the fun activity of the hobby.

Hobbies Lead to Maturity/Delayed Gratification

Hobbies often require the delayed gratification that's linked with the maturity needed by successful adults. Just as a child might have to wait to buy an expensive new guitar string, a successful adult might have to wait for a raise or a promotion.

Children with hobbies grow into successful adults because hobbies give them a head start on those skills that are needed later in life
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Preschool Prep: How to Prepare Your Toddler for Preschool

By

                

If your child is starting preschool this fall, you may be approaching this major milestone with conflicting emotions. You’re probably excited about all the fun (you hope) your child will have and the new friends he’ll make. At the same time, you may feel a little sad that your baby is venturing out into the big world without you. These emotions are normal. Your child is also bound to have a host of feelings about this transition, feeling proud to be a big kid but at the same time worried about being separated from you and starting something unfamiliar. 

In this resource, you'll find information on:

Fun Ways to Get Ready for Preschool

Responding to Your Child's Worries

The Preschool Countdown: What to Do and When

Saying a Good Good-Bye

Having Fun with Preschool Prep

There’s a lot you can do in the weeks before to get ready for the big day.  But try to keep your efforts low-key. If you make too big a deal out of this milestone, your child may end up being more worried than excited. Here are some ideas to keep the focus on fun.

• Use pretend play to explore the idea of preschool.  Take turns being the parent, child and teacher.  Act out common daily routines, such as saying good-bye to mommy and/or daddy, taking off your coat, singing songs, reading stories, having Circle Time, playing outside, and taking naps.  Reassure your child that preschool is a good place where he will have fun and learn. Answer his questions patiently. This helps children feel more in control which reduces their anxiety.
• Read books about preschool. There are many books about going to preschool available from the public library in your area. Choose several to share with your child over the summer before school starts. Talk about the story and how the characters are feeling. Ask how your child is feeling.
• Make a game out of practicing self-help skills like: unzipping her coat, hanging her coat on a hook, putting on her backpack, fastening her shoes.  For example, you might want to have a "race" with your child to see how quickly she can put on her shoes.  When you play school together, you can give your child the chance to practice taking off her coat, zipping her backpack closed, and sitting “criss-cross applesauce.”  If your child will be bringing lunch, pack it up one day before school starts and have a picnic together.  This will give her the chance to practice unzipping her lunch box and unwrapping her sandwich—important skills for the first day
• Play at your new preschool.  Visit your child’s preschool together. Ask when you can tour the school with your child. Play on the school playground a few times before your child starts the program. These visits increase your child’s comfort with and confidence in this new setting.

Worries and Watching

Your child may also have some questions or concerns about starting preschool, either before or after she starts in the fall.  Help her get ready with these two key strategies:

• Listen to your child’s worries. Although it’s tempting to quickly reassure your child and move on, it’s important to let your child know that his worries have been heard.  No matter what they are, big or small, children’s worries about preschool can significantly influence their experience there. Will you remember to pick her up in the afternoon? Will her teacher be nice? 

       Let your child know it’s normal to feel happy, sad, excited, scared, or   worried. Explain that starting something new can feel scary and that lots of people feel that way. It can be helpful to share a time when you started something new and how you felt. When you allow your child to share her worries, you can help her think through how to deal with them.  For example, if she is worried about missing you, the two of you can make a book of family photos to keep in her cubby and look at when she is lonely. 

• Notice nonverbal messages.  As much as 3-year-olds may talk, most are not yet able to fully explain how they are feeling or what they are worried about.  Your child may “act out” his worry by clinging, becoming withdrawn, or by being more aggressive. Another common reaction as children take a big move forward is to actually move backward in other areas. For example, if your child is fully potty trained, he may start have toileting accidents. He may ask that you feed or dress him even though he can do these things by himself.

       It is natural to be frustrated by this regressed behavior, and you may be concerned that if you do these things for him, he won’t go back to doing them himself. In fact, letting him play this out often leads to children returning to their “big kid” selves sooner. Remember that your child is facing—and managing—a big change in his life. He may need more support, nurturing, and patience from you while he makes this transition.

The Preschool Countdown: What to Do and When

The last few weeks before starting preschool seem to fly by! As you begin the countdown to the first day, here are some things to keep in mind:

During the 2 Weeks Before Preschool Starts:

• Purchase a backpack together with your child.  If possible, let your child choose it himself.  This gives him a sense of control and emphasizes the fact that he is a "big kid" starting preschool.
• Label all items—backpack, jacket, shoes, blanket, teddy bear, etc.—with your child’s name and teacher’s name in permanent ink.
• Contact the preschool’s health professional if your child has medication that he or she takes on a daily basis. There will be special rules and forms to fill out for your child to receive medication at school.
• Figure out how your child will get to school and how she will come home. Talk to your child about the morning and afternoon routine so that she understands that she will be safe, okay, and cared for.  Make sure your child meets her before- and/or after-school caregiver, if you are using one.
• Start using your child’s “school bedtime.” Children often go to bed later as the summer months, and longer days, kick in. Help your child get into a preschool schedule by keeping to his or her school bedtime, beginning about 2 weeks before school starts.

The Night Before Preschool

• Answer any last-minute questions from your child.
• Let your child choose (weather- and school-appropriate) clothes for her first day.Make sure that your child goes to bed on time.
• Pick a bedtime that gives your child a good night’s rest before his or her first day. Keep the bedtime routine soothing and relaxing. Don’t focus too much (or at all!) on the first day of school unless she wants to.

The First Day

• Wake up early enough so that you and your child don’t have to rush to get to preschool.
• Make breakfast for your child and, if possible, sit down to eat together—or at least talk with her as she eats and you get ready.
• Review the day’s routine (what preschool will be like, how your child will get to school/come home).
• Pack your child’s backpack together. If your child is bringing lunch, select foods that you know are his favorites. Having some familiarity on his first day is helpful as he adjusts to so many changes.
• Let your child choose a special stuffed animal or blanket to bring to school with her. These “loveys” can help children make the transition from home to school, and can also make naptime easier, too. You may want to send your child with a family photo or favorite book as well. These familiar objects can help if she feels lonely during the day.

Saying a Good Good-Bye

These strategies can ease the jitters of separating on your child’s first day at preschool.

• Plan to stay a little while.  Staying for 1530 minutes on that first morning can help ease the transition.. Together, the two of you can explore the classroom, meet some other children, play with a few toys. When you see that your child is comfortable, it is time to leave. If he is having a harder time getting engaged, you may want to ask your child’s teacher to stay with your child as you say good-bye so that when you leave, he can turn to another caring adult for support.
• Keep your tone positive and upbeat. Children pick up on the reactions of the trusted adults in their lives. So try not to look worried or sad, and don’t linger too long. Say a quick, upbeat good-bye and reassure your child that all will be well.
• Think about creating a special good-bye routine. For example, you can give your child a kiss on his or her palm to “hold” all day long.  Or, the two of you can sing a special song together before you leave. Good-bye routines are comforting to children and help them understand and prepare for what will happen next. 
• Resist the rescue.  Try not to run back in the classroom if you hear your child crying, as upsetting as this can be. This is a big change and your child may, quite understandably, feel sad and a little scared.  But if you run back in, it sends the message that he is only okay if you are there and it is likely to prolong your child’s distress and make it harder for him to adapt. Rest assured, teachers have many years of experience with helping families make the shift to preschool. Instead, you can wait outside the classroom for a few minutes to ensure that all is well, or call the school later in the morning to check-in.

How to Discipline Young Kids Effectively

4 Steps Every Parent Can Take by Dr. Joan Simeo Munson

Every time Karen tells her 5-year-old son Jayden it’s time to leave a friend’s house, he explodes, throwing his toys, screaming and kicking her. “It’s gotten to the point that I don’t want to take him anywhere anymore,” she says. For Sarah, the problem is a little different. Her 3-year-old toddler has started biting other kids when she’s frustrated. “Lily’s having fewer play dates because no one wants her around, and I get it,” says Sarah. “And she’s already getting in trouble in pre-school.”

I believe that too often parents shy away from disciplining their children because it hurts them to watch their little ones become even more upset.

Disciplining young children can be challenging for parents, especially when their child’s behavior is especially inappropriate or obnoxious. There are few experiences more stressful—or more embarrassing—than having your child throw himself to the ground in the middle of a crowded store. But in the midst of all of these difficult years with your child, remember these two things: Bad behavior from children between the ages of two and six is completely normal—and as a parent, you have the ability to help your child learn how to begin to control him or herself.

Related: Are your young child’s tantrums driving you crazy?

What’s Your Discipline Strategy? 4 Steps to Better Young Child Behavior

Teaching your child boundaries, learning to say “no,” and coaching your child to practice good behaviors are all part of an important discipline strategy. Helping your child through each phase of his life with loving discipline is an integral part of his development, a necessary requirement to help him grow into a healthy adolescent and beyond. Having said that, it’s also important to acknowledge that it is almost never easy! I say this because I believe that too often parents shy away from disciplining their children because it hurts them to watch their little ones become even more upset. So the most important thing for you to do before you read any further is to acknowledge to yourself that discipline is not fun and rarely easy. However, without it your child will be at an enormous disadvantage throughout their school years and in their social life. Discipline teaches the most important values we as parents can impart to our children: self-control, boundaries, respect, and the ability to honor those around us.

Step One: Be "Swift and Safe." Discipline is different for each stage of your child’s development. For the young child between the ages of two and six, the main thing to remember is to keep the discipline simple and easy to understand. Parents of teenagers can spend a lot of time lecturing them on why not getting chores done is a violation of house rules, and the teen will get it (well, maybe!), but if you attempt an ongoing discussion with your four-year-old, you’ll find you won’t have a very alert audience for too long. My rule of thumb for attempting to change a young child’s behavior is to be “swift and safe.” By swift, I mean move in quickly to correct the behavior and place your child in an environment where he or she will be safe since young children have a tendency to lash out physically when angry or disciplined.  (Note: If your young child has issues with anxiety when placed in an environment away from you, such as her  bedroom, it may be helpful to put her in an area where she can still see and/or hear you.)

Here’s an example:

Three-year-old Charlotte has just smacked her best friend Joey in the head with a plastic plane they were arguing over. As Charlotte’s parent, your job is to move in swiftly, lowering your body to meet Charlotte’s eyes and stating: “We don’t hit,” while taking the plane away. Joey gets the plane to play with while you watch your daughter. If she continues to be aggressive or physical she is removed from the situation to a safe environment where she will sit until she calms down. At this point you can tell her “When you are ready to play nicely, you can return.”

Most, if not all, of your young child’s discipline at this age will center around her acting out (hitting, biting, screaming) for not getting her way, or perhaps throwing a tantrum. A child between the ages of two and six does not have the frustration tolerance, the language skills or reasoning abilities that an older child or an adult has. It’s unreasonable to expect anything else, so while it can be frustrating for you as the parent to have to continue disciplining your child for what seems like the same offenses over and over, remember how frustrated your child is and how normal it is for her to act out. Your role as the provider of loving, consistent discipline helps her to feel safe and secure, which will help her through this stage in her development.

Related: How to stop power struggles with your acting out child.

Step 2: The Consistency Piece. The second step to effective discipline is consistency. Kids of every age are smart and very adept at sensing indecision or wavering in parents. If a child thinks for one second that they can get away with an offense, they will try it—and if not called out by their parents for their indiscretion, will learn early on that they can work the system in their house! I know being a consistent disciplinarian can be overwhelming, particularly with young children, so I encourage parents to have a slogan for themselves that they use when things begin to get out of control. Here’s an example:

Charlie, age 5, deplores bedtime. He will use every ounce of his energy to stall his parents each night and usually has a meltdown, screaming and throwing stuffed animals until his parents give in and let him stay up “just 15 more minutes.” His  parents figure this is easier as his tantrums stop, at least momentarily. Instead of allowing Charlie to run the show though, his parents need a slogan to help them stay in control of bedtime. Before bedtime begins, I recommended they started saying to themselves, “I’m the parent here and I am in charge,” and then begin their bedtime ritual, which includes a declaration to Charlie: “From now on starting at 7:30 we will begin our bedtime routine. This will include your bath, your teeth being brushed and one story. If you are a good listener, I will consider reading you two stories. If you have a tantrum, you will go right to bed.”

When you tell your child matter-of-factly that you are in fact in charge and then propose a consistent routine each day, whether we’re talking about bedtime rituals or overall discipline, your child begins to know what to expect and feels secure within the rules of the house. Consistency equals calmness in a household.

Related: How to create calm in your family.

Step 3: The Importance of Giving Choices. Kids at this age tend to feel like their lives are mostly mapped out for them on a day-to-day basis, so it’s important to give them some freedom of choice throughout the day. Think about your average day for a minute. What if someone told you what you were to wear and eat, when you would go to work and come home, and who you would socialize with each and everyday. Sounds boring, doesn’t it? Young children are no different and giving them some wiggle room each day is a loving form of discipline that is likely to decrease their tantrums and acting out. Here’s a good example:

Trey is a spirited, strong-willed 2 ½ year old child who likes to have his way. His mother shows her wisdom in allowing him to pick and choose various things throughout the day that really have no impact on Trey’s well-being or safety. At breakfast time she’ll ask Trey, “Do you want cantaloupe or grapes today?” Before naptime she’ll announce, “It’s time to take our nap in 15 minutes. Would you like to read a book or color before then?” When they get ready to run an errand, she’ll ask him, “Red sweater or green one today?”

The point here is to help your child avoid feeling so powerless on a daily basis that he reacts by acting out in inappropriate ways. Naturally this won’t always work and your child may simply tell you, “I don’t want to wear either sweater!” in which case you will repeat your parenting slogan to yourself and let your child know that if he can’t choose, you will choose for him.

Step 4: Give Consequences and Rewards. Make certain there are always consequences for your child’s actions, both positive and negative. Throughout life, we all have to live with the consequences of our actions. If you don’t go to work on time each day it is likely you will be fired. If a parent tends to be chronically lenient with their child, it is likely their child will be ill-behaved and not have many friends. One of the most important tools a parent can teach their child is that when they behave in a certain way, there will be certain consequences that follow. Here’s how an example:

Four-year-old Samantha continued to bite one particular little girl in her play group each week. Her mother attempted to talk to her about not biting, and she remained in charge of the situation by removing Samantha so that the other girl would be safe, and she was consistent with her discipline. Even so, Samantha still wouldn’t stop biting. So her mother finally said, “Biting is wrong. If you bite again we will leave immediately and will not come back to play group today.” Sure enough, Samantha tested the waters and bit again. Swiftly and safely her mother whisked Samantha out of the park, kicking and screaming. When she was safely belted in her car seat her mother said, “This is what happens when you bite. If you do it again, we will leave again.”

Related: How to give consequences that really work.

Children are able to understand that if you have a consequence that is not to their liking, their behavior will change pretty quickly so that they are able to join back in the fun. Yes, it can put a damper on your fun, but kids are smart enough to grasp the concept that naughty behavior equals serious consequences and will generally adapt to whatever expectations you have for them. And, just as adults receive positive consequences for their behavior (like getting a raise at work) there should also be positive consequences for your child, too. This is where a good behavior chart comes in handy in your home. Create any type of chart you’d like (Click here for free, downloadable charts created forEmpowering Parents readers) and hang it at eye level for your child to see every day. When he succeeds at something, say not biting another child at the latest play date, he gets to put a sticker up for that day. At the end of the week after your child has earned so many stickers, he is rewarded with a  bigger treat, which can range from a trip to the ice cream shop, extra video time or staying up 15 extra minutes at bedtime. For younger kids, you might start off with letting them earn a small reward each day; you can then gradually build up to longer periods of time before they earn their incentive.  It is also helpful to ask your child what he would like to work towards earning; that way, you'll also know what motivates him.

Disciplining a young child is never easy. It takes time, effort, and energy, which can all be in short supply when you are raising children, managing a career, a house, and the dozens of other day-to-day activities parents face. But just remember that effective, consistent discipline is the cornerstone to every child’s wellbeing and will follow them throughout their development and into their adult lives.

Read more: http://www.empoweringparents.com/how-to-discipline-young-kids-effectively-4-tips-every-parent-can-take.php#ixzz29i33iRb6

10 ways to get your students’ respect…

 (for those who don’t think it comes automatically)

by Whatedsaid

1. Respect your students.

Don’t talk down to students. Model mutual respect.  Don’t have double standards. Give what you’d like to get back. Know every child’s story and treat each as an individual. Cater for different learning preferences, strengths and weaknesses.

2. Have a class agreement, not top-down rules.

Ask what helps them learn and what hinders learning. Use that as a basis for establishing an essential agreement as to how the class will run and what behaviours will be evident. Have everyone sign it. Put it up on the wall. Refer to it constantly.

3.  Be part of the learning community.

Don’t be the boss of learning. Encourage kids to take ownership of their learning. Be an inquirer too. Don’t pretend to know all the answers. Learn with and from your students. Divide your groups in a variety of random ways, so that everyone learns to work with different people.

4. Acknowledge their physical needs.

Allow students to drink water and even to eat if they hungry. Don’t try and control when they go to the toilet. (If your classes are engaging, they will only go when they need to.) Provide opportunities for standing up and moving around during learning.

5. Be fair and reasonable.

Don’t show favoritism.  Expect everyone to stick to the agreement. Don’t allow put-downs between students. Accept legitimate excuses and even some that might not be. If the homework comes a day late because they had something else to do, it’s not the end of the world.

6. Have a sense of humour.

Laugh with your students but never at them. Laugh at yourself. Show firm disapproval if they laugh at each other.  Don’t take school too seriously. Take learning seriously. But make learning fun too.

7.  Provide  a secure learning space.

Provide opportunities for risk-taking in learning. Create a safe environment where learners don’t fear failure. Be supportive of creative thinking and new ways of doing things. Make every student feel validated.

8. Be sincere.

Talk to students in a normal tone, irrespective of their age.  Students see through adults who aren’t sincere very quickly. Don’t pretend.   Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Show that you care… but only if you do. (If you don’t, why are you a teacher?)

9. Be human.

Acknowledge when you’re in the wrong. Apologise when you make a mistake. Admit you’re impatient because you’re tired today.

10. Let go.

Don’t be in charge of every situation.  Ask yourself  ’Is it important?‘ before you react. Don’t make all the decisions. Provide opportunities for choice. Show that you value initiative above compliance.

4 Reasons Why Curiosity is Important and How to Develop It

November 14 by Donald Latumahina 

"The important thing is not to stop questioning… Never lose a holy curiosity."

Albert Einstein

Curiosity is an important trait of a genius. I don’t think you can find an intellectual giant who is not a curious person. Thomas Edison, Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Richard Feynman, they are all curious characters. Richard Feynman was especially known for his adventures which came from his curiosity.

But why is curiosity so important? Here are four reasons:

1. It makes your mind active instead of passiveCurious people always ask questions and search for answers in their minds. Their minds are always active. Since the mind is like a muscle which becomes stronger through continual exercise, the mental exercise caused by curiosity makes your mind stronger and stronger.
2. It makes your mind observant of new ideas
   When you are curious about something, your mind expects and anticipates new ideas related to it. When the ideas come they will soon be recognized. Without curiosity, the ideas may pass right in front of you and yet you miss them because your mind is not prepared to recognize them. Just think, how many great ideas may have lost due to lack of curiosity?
3. It opens up new worlds and possibilitiesBy being curious you will be able to see new worlds and possibilities which are normally not visible. They are hidden behind the surface of normal life, and it takes a curious mind to look beneath the surface and discover these new worlds and possibilities.
4. It brings excitement into your life
   The life of curious people is far from boring. It’s neither dull nor routine. There are always new things that attract their attention, there are always new ‘toys’ to play with. Instead of being bored, curious people have an adventurous life.

Now, knowing the importance of curiosity, here are some tips to develop it:

1. Keep an open mind

This is essential if you are to have a curious mind. Be open to learn, unlearn, and relearn. Some things you know and believe might be wrong, and you should be prepared to accept this possibility and change your mind.

2. Don’t take things as granted

If you just accept the world as it is without trying to dig deeper, you will certainly lose the ‘holy curiosity’. Never take things as granted. Try to dig deeper beneath the surface of what is around you.

3. Ask questions relentlessly

A sure way to dig deeper beneath the surface is asking questions: What is that? Why is it made that way? When was it made?Who invented it? Where does it come from? How does it work? What, why, when, who, where, and how are the best friends of curious people.

4. Don’t label something as boring

Whenever you label something as boring, you close one more door of possibilities. Curious people are unlikely to call something as boring. Instead, they always see it as a door to an exciting new world. Even if they don’t yet have time to explore it, they will leave the door open to be visited another time.

5. See learning as something fun

If you see learning as a burden, there’s no way you will want to dig deeper into anything. That will just make the burden heavier. But if you think of learning as something fun, you will naturally want to dig deeper. So look at life through the glasses of fun and excitement and enjoy the learning process..

6. Read diverse kinds of reading

Don’t spend too much time on just one world; take a look at another worlds. It will introduce you to the possibilities and excitement of the other worlds which may spark your interest to explore them further. One easy way to do this is through reading diverse kinds of reading. Try to pick a book or magazine on a new subject and let it feed your mind with the excitement of a new world.